Navigating Birth & Death, Transitions & Passageways

5,000 year-old carving from ancient burial site, Knowth, Ireland

One of my great loves in this life is the lightning: that devastatingly disruptive, potently creative force that enters our lives at pivotal moments to invite new possibilities of being. It is a specialty, a passion and study of ongoing development, to accompany individuals during times of major transition or creative crisis. These are the moments between birth and death...where the universe in its infinite potential is opened before us and we are graced with the opportunity to decide what, where, who we will be...

Not many people truly see this opportunity for what it is. Fewer yet accept the invitation and are able to step through the portal into a new way of being.

Such moments of crisis, rupture, grief & change have been long seen as sacred and potent for the ancestral and Indigenous peoples of the Earth. They were thus properly cared for and contained by the community as a whole, elders, specialists in the initiatory arts & Anam-Áire, soul-carers.

A Doula is someone who tends to the major passageways of the soul and human being on its journey, oftentimes with different specialties such as birth, death, coming of age, initiation, etc. Unlike a midwife or a mortician, however, their role is characterized by the interpersonal needs & spiritual dimensions around death & birth events.

Without a proper container, without the emotional safety and mental grounding provided by supportive relationships and compassionate presence, such creative crises and lightning strikes are met with greater fear and resistance. Rather than being transformed and initiated into a more profound and authentic way of relating with all of Life, many people get 'caught in the doorway'...they remain in a state of lostness, confusion, brokenness, and disorder.

This is perhaps Life's most primeval form of teaching and transforming us–breaking us. It is also a form of divine mercy because in truth, it is not we who are breaking but the walls around our hearts, the masks. We are freed, if we are able to let go, from the concepts, illusions, and false identities that separate us from being in real connection with Life and with each other. Grief, for example, has the power to yield incredible depths and heights of intimacy, Love, catharsis and communal healing by virtue of its breaking our hearts open.

In a way, we are currently facing a collective crisis in the same manner. It feels uncertain for many, if we will be able to step through the door towards a more harmonious way of being with each other on this Earth. Though we cannot control the decisions that other people make, we can & must assume our own reality, sovereignty and response-ability for our experience, who we are and all that we are capable of.

We must act on behalf of the individual universe, the microcosm that we are, by accepting our own sacred invitation to step through the doors of possibility & change that Life and Death afford us....with the hope, that the radiance of each courageous Heart that does so makes doing so just a little bit easier for others.

Having been myself so utterly transformed by the grief and praise, mystery and the grace of heartbreak, the only way I know how to express my gratitude to Life and Spirit is to be here now, and share these gifts. Here, in the disposition of service to you and others who seek accompaniment and presence as they journey to find the eye & heart of their own storms and oceans.

My three areas of expertise as a Doula or guide:

Death & Bereavement

The role of a Death Doula

To provide tools, knowledge, and hold space; to ease and clarify the passing of you or a loved one.

This may include:
꩜ Understanding general legal requirements and paperwork to be completed before and after a death
꩜ Implementing ancestral and modern communication tools to aid in family and community processing around a death
꩜ Assistance in creating a clear plan of passing; considering all options for caring for the body and memorial services/celebrations; clarifying practical steps for wrapping up one's affairs
꩜ Holding space for confronting one's fears, healing relationships, and facilitating a Peaceful Death

Ceremonial Specialist

A special passion of mine is the creation and facilitation of ceremonies.
Making ceremony is, in my worldview, a way of generating harmony within the many levels of relationships existing in a given place or community ~ i.e. self, partnership, family, community, territory, and cosmos or Spirit.

My aim within this work and passion is ~
꩜ Building, strengthening, and sustaining community
꩜ Holding time & space for the completion of relationships/closure
꩜ Authentic relating, sharing, and communicating beyond wor(l)ds
꩜ Facilitating transformative experiences for individuals and systems
꩜ Blessing & serving

Bedside Vigil (immediately preceding death, phase of "active-dying") ~ sitting bedside with the dying person to ease, comfort, witness and support their transition. Sound, water, touch, & smell are all often used within and outside of ceremonial context.

Traditional Wake (immediately following death) ~ an age old tradition meaning to "observe" or "stand guard", in which the body is kept at home, cared for, and watched over anywhere from a few hours to a few days (depending on local regulations and needs of the family). This gives all loved ones a chance to say goodbye and connect to each other in a more raw, intimate, and private space.

Washing & Anointing the Body (1-4 hours following death) ~ the final act of physical Love and care that will be provided to the departed one.
While I would be honored to perform such a task, my main goal is to empower the families or loved ones to do this themselves, as washing and anointing the body is a very intimate act and can support one's process of grief very deeply.
~ This Service is purely by donation only / non-profit!

Wild Grief: Letting it Be ~ Grief is sacred and must be given due form and space to be properly metabolized. Forms and conventions that are overly constrictive can have a suppressive and suffocating effect on the grieving process. When grief is allowed to be, to flow, express & release, it becomes vital nutrients that serve to feed Life. Grief is Love & Praise.
I do not believe there is any "method" for grieving or healing grief. But I am happy to accompany you or be your witness in the process if requested...I find that Nature really helps, especially the ocean.

All rites of passage – be it to adulthood, eldership, giving birth, healing crises, grief & loss, or physical death – are about crossing over from one form or state of being to another. All are gateways of immense creative potential and involve a re-ordering, reorientation, and harmonization of one's relationships to self, significant others, family, community, Nature, and the cosmos. Moving through such passageways often ask of us to shed outworn identities and behaviors in order to step into a more authentic, empowered expression of who we are and what we came to this Earth to do.

As a young woman, I know what it is to navigate this passage in today's world and the confusion that that can entail. I have been lucky enough to meet the right mentors, teachers, guides and elders who have helped me to uncover my gifts and find my path. I have undergone initiation, both guided by traditional knowledge keepers and self-created containers. I have voluntarily undergone physically, emotionally, and mentally grueling challenges in order to build my resilience and capacity as a guide...with still only too much to learn.

My Approach to Facilitating Rites of Passage

The pathway that has brought me here to you has been heavily influenced by the following threads: Indigenous Science & pedagogy; Community & Cultural Psychology; Ecopsychology, wilderness awareness training & lots of extended, direct contact with nature; Storytelling, Archetypal Psychology & Mythology; Communication training from both Western and Indigenous paradigms; Action-based & Participatory Research; Ancestral Healing Arts, Ceremony, & plant medicine; processes of physical purification via diet & herbal medicine; Music, the arts, & a great appreciation for beauty. These threads surface in my work to a greater or lesser degree depending on the person I am working with and what is needed.

In alignment with the principles of Indigenous science, there is no "one size fits all." The efficacy and sustainability of the design or ceremony depends intimately on the context (People, Land, Ancestry, Culture/conceptual territory, Events/history), belief & motive of the individual undergoing initiation, and surrounding relationships.

Family & Community Integration

And my team, you ask? YOU are the team – your family, friends, elders and community, are the team. Everyone has a role to play. It is beautiful, powerful, and necessary to create community containers for holding major points of initiation and transformation. These points of crisis can then become the glue that holds us together as one being or people, rather than the destruction that tears us a part.
That's true for youth initiations as it is for death and dying, individual and collective healing crises. The integration of family and community in the proper contexts can activate the dynamic of mutual-upraising that occurs between the initiate or the dying person, and his or her family and community.

It is the medicine of seeing and being seen by those who matter in our lives that grounds and sustain the positive transformations and growth that occurs. If we succeed in this daunting task, you may find that your whole family has passed through a door and emerged on the other side with new ways of being and sharing with one another.

Steps to work with me:

Step One

Start a conversation with me via email. Please note that the degree of accompaniment I can provide for this service is more strongly limited by location (North Central WA, USA), unless you are interested in collaborating for a larger project elsewhere.

Step Two

We will schedule a visit or a zoom conversation to talk about possibilities, as well as to verify that we are a good match moving forward. If so, we can create an agreement of reciprocity or work contract.

Step Three

We will assemble the support team. Who are our key allies in this process? Who are the response-able parties, family members, leaders, elders, who correspond to include in creating this passageway for you or your loved one?

Start a conversation with me

I am not a therapist, & neither am I here to heal others.

Mainstream delivery systems of psycho-social care are important and you should consult with a therapist or doctor if you think you need one. However, very few health professionals are familiar with the initiatic arts when it comes to moments of mental, emotional, and physical intensity or challenge in one's Life. The dimensions of creativity & art, spirituality & soul, lifestyle & purpose, relationship renewal & self-sovereignty are often lost in standardized procedures of diagnosis and treatment.

The service I provide is for those who are ready to assume their own reality, self-sovereignty, and response-ability...those who are willing do the work and become the force of healing and renewal that they seek.

Never help a butterfly out of its cocoon. If the butterfly does not go through the exhaustive work of pushing and itself out, its wings will not be strong enough to fly and it will die.

My role is as a guide, muse, encourager, accountability partner, and witness. I offer ongoing support & accompaniment, holding space in person & via zoom for you to connect to your own medicine and source of power within. I can also provide you access & guidance within a large base of knowledge, resources, tools, traditions, and interpersonal connections from all over the world.

I have adopted a whole-systems approach to inner & outer processes of harmonization and transformation, which challenges the reductionist and materialistic tendencies of the Western mind. We are invited instead to see the connections between all things, to see ourselves as both part and whole. This is a pathway to authentic empowerment and truly sustainable growth and renewal, which moves beyond the personal, "you" or "me"...it is an approach takes into account several different dimensions of healing, relationship, and behavioral change.